I’ve been struggling a bit lately with decisions about the future (i.e. after MTS is over). The real question is, what is the most valuable way of using the next few years? How can I be most useful?
Part of this flows on from my mild dis-satisfaction with work, but ever since I graduated, I’ve had it in my mind to do some further study to actually become qualified at something (Hearing and Speech is like an Arts degree for Speech Pathologists – you get skills but no one knows what you can do when you finish). When I took my current job, I only intended on being there 6 months before moving on. It’s been 2 years. Current plans mean I’ll be there for another 3 or 4. I’m not excited about this.
The other part of it is pride, I think. I’m not qualified for anything, but I’m overqualified for what I do (which is essentially personal care and taking people on outings – fun, except for the personal care, but not really stimulating). I don’t regret my decision to not finish Speech Path, I don’t want to be a Speech Path, but I would like to be a professional. And it’s particularly hard when spending time with friends who did graduate and are using their degrees. I don’t feel like I’m part of that world.
Meanwhile, I’d also really like to go to bible college, at least for a year to get better equipped to serve at church. Really, God has been equipping me for church ministry my whole life (from helping at creche when I was 12 to leading bible studies for years). What would be a better way to progress?
I’ll have to make a decision at some point later in the year (probably around the time Jeh and I get married). This could be a source of anxiety for me. Got to keep thinking and praying.